Feedback is a "gift"

This week I was involved in delivering a 360 report to somebody in the organization I support. A 360 report is administered by a 3rd party company who will ask for feedback from a variety of sources on an individual's performance, habits, opportunities, strengths, etc. Normally, one will recieve feedback anonymously from peers, management, customers, direct reports, and others. The 3rd party company will compile this feedback into a nifty little report that basically outlines your "brand" as percieved by others. It was in this session that my mentor explained to the man who was seeing his results for the first time, "feedback is a gift". I heard that and took it in stride, but in reality I'm not sure I think of feedback as a gift. The thought of doing this scares me to death. While I understand and endorse the idea behind it, the actual practice of asking people to drill down into your own personal strenghts and weaknesses makes me feel like crawling into a hole and never coming out.

I seem to recieve feedback in phases, always unsolicited mind you. The feedback oftentimes has a common theme of an "area of opportunity" in which I can improve. While I would like to think of myself as a professional who can take it in stride, I am not. It is hard. It is hard to know that not only are you aware of your weakness and fear of failure, but everybody around you sees the same limitations and shortcomings...or even worse (or better if your'e optomistic) they might see something different from what you are aware of. we call these "blind spots".

I'm currently in one of those unsolicited feedback phases. And while I get that feedback is a "gift" in which we are able to understand ourselves better and ultimately grow from...it usually takes me weeks or months before I can see it that way. In the meantime, it is simply embarrassing. As if I'm displaying all of my secrets, my inner warts that I thought nobody knew about. That is why I love the idea of feedback but really hate the practice.